Episode 4 - Tetiana
Today we meet Tetiana, a young teacher fleeing the war with her two children. Hers is a very complicated family story and her arrival in Poland was supposed to be a reunion with her husband, who she discovered to be an unreliable person.
What are your first memories related to your arrival in Poland?
I arrived in Poland in 2022. At the time I was 30 years old, my son was 2 and my daughter was 3. We came to visit my husband in Poland, but it turned out he was a gambler. Since we lived in Ukraine near the military camp, I wanted to protect the children from stress and thought of going to Poland for a few days. At first, I didn't realize what war was and thought I would return to Ukraine soon. I left my home, my job, and my parents there, but things turned out differently. Once in Poland, my husband did not come to pick us up at the border. He didn't even give the address where he lived. Later I found out he lived in a building with slot machines to which he was addicted, he didn't even have a rented apartment. He gave my residence address in Poland to two men he owed money to. They showed up at my house and took all my money. The Polish people I was living with at the time, where we had been brought by volunteers from the border, fortunately helped me find a job so I could support myself.
Being a trained teacher, when a group of Ukrainian children formed by the Sisters of the Immaculate needed a Ukrainian kindergarten teacher, I tried to get the job. The sisters informed me about the residence of the Camillian Fathers. I met Father Roman, but unfortunately I couldn't speak Polish and didn't understand everything. Fortunately, Father Roman understood what I needed. I didn't tell my parents anything about what happened to me and my husband. Now I am getting a divorce and, as far as I know, my ex-husband continues to gamble. The Order of the Camillian Fathers invited me to accept the help of a psychologist, who made me realize that gambling is a very serious thing and that I should think only about the future of my children. At the end of April 2022, I moved with my two children to the Camillian Fathers' house in Lomianki.
What were the biggest difficulties and how were they overcome (or not)?
The biggest difficulty was the constant fear for the lives and future of my children and the fact that I didn't understand the Polish language. Father Roman helped me with a tonsillectomy for my children and now they are physically healthy. The Camillian Fathers were always by our side and even drove us to the hospital.
As for food, clothing, everything we needed was provided free of charge at home. Mrs. Agnes helped me a lot. Translating documents or establishing the separation of assets with my husband - to get back on my feet.
The program funded Polish language lessons, so I learned to speak Polish very well and passed the B1 exam. We were provided with psychological assistance. In the house in Lomianki we organized Christmas parties, Easter, picnics with bonfires, summer holidays for the children and trips. All this helped us not to think about what was happening in our country.
When Father Aris came to visit us, I remember how warmly he smiled at all the residents of the house. He knew each of our names and our stories. In the house of the Camillian Fathers there was a very warm atmosphere, which helped me overcome many difficulties. Every resident felt comfortable with the others and could always count on the help of Mrs. Agnes and Father Roman. When I was ready to be independent and live in an apartment, the Camillian Fathers and Agnes gave me what I needed to start.
How has the approach of the Polish people changed over the months compared to your first arrival in Poland?
The approach of the Polish people towards me as a Ukrainian and towards my children has not changed and has been very good and warm since my arrival in 2022. I think the way you look at people determines their attitude towards you. I no longer need financial support, but a smile, understanding, and advice on where the office or pharmacy is. They are very friendly.
What can you say about your current situation in Poland?
My current situation in Poland is good. I have a temporary job and I can afford to rent an apartment. I am studying to complete the education I received in Ukraine. The Polish diploma will allow me to work here permanently.
I also owe everything I have to the Project and the Camillian Fathers. They funded the translation of my documents, which I urgently needed. I couldn't do it alone due to lack of knowledge and financial difficulties.
Aside from financial income, how does your work help you as a person?
I am a teacher in a kindergarten for Polish children. My work helps me a lot. I have contact with Polish parents. They help me a lot by giving me advice, giving me different ideas on how to make my way here, on how Polish law and procedures work. This helps me a lot emotionally.
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Can you tell us about an episode or a story that particularly touched you?
Right after crossing the border in 2022, I was greatly helped by a Polish man who welcomed me and my children into his home saying: “I ask you to feel at home, but I'm sorry I can't speak Ukrainian.” This was the first sign of a sense of security that came over us. I replied that it was not necessary for him to speak to me in Ukrainian, it was I who had to learn the Polish language, which of course I tried to translate with non-verbal language.
I was strongly influenced by the help of Father Roman and Mrs. Agnes. I admire these people, because they have always helped me. When I was sad they talked to me, always listened to me and understood me, gave me wise advice. And this helped me have what I have now.
How do you see your future and what is your feeling about the end of the war?
I want to stay in Poland as long as possible. My daughter is in first grade. I hope the war ends soon. Once the war is over, I do not intend to return to Ukraine. My feeling about the war is that we are very small people, we can only do this: help each other, support the people around us and simply be people with a capital letter, this is what I learned in the house of the Camillian Fathers.
You can find the previous episode HERE.
