Episode 4 - Tetiana
Today we meet Tetiana, a young woman teacher fleeing the war with her 2 children. Hers is a very complicated family history, and her arrival in Poland was meant to be about reuniting with her husband, whom she discovered to be an untrustworthy person.
What are your earliest memories related to your arrival in Poland?
I arrived in Poland in 2022. At that time I was 30 years old, my son was 2, and my daughter 3. We came to visit my husband in Poland, but it turned out he was a gambler.
Since we lived in Ukraine near the military camp, I just wanted to protect the children from stress and I thought about going to Poland for a few days. At the beginning I didn't realize what the war was and I thought I would be back in Ukraine soon. There I left my home, my job, and my parents, but it turned out otherwise. Once in Poland, my husband did not come to pick us up at the border. He did not even indicate the address where he was living. Later I found out he lived in a building with slot machines with which he was addicted, he did not even have a rented apartment. He gave my address of residence in Poland to two men with whom he was in debt. They showed up at my house and took all my money. The Poles where I was living at the time, to whom we were brought by volunteers from the border, fortunately helped me find a job so that I could have a livelihood. As a teacher by training, when a group of Ukrainian children formed at the Immaculate Sisters needed a Ukrainian kindergarten teacher, I took the chase to get the job. The sisters informed me about the Camillian Fathers residence. I met Father Roman, but unfortunately I could not speak Polish and did not understand everything. Fortunately, Father Roman understood what I needed.
I did not say anything to my parents about what happened to me and my husband. I am divorcing now and as far as I know my ex-husband continues to play for money. The Order of Camillian Fathers invited me to accept the help of a psychologist, who made me realize that gambling is a very terrible thing, and I should think only about the future of my children. At the end of April 2022, I moved with my two children to the house of the Camilian Fathers in Lomianki.
What were the biggest difficulties and how were they overcome (or not)?
The biggest difficulty was the permanent fear for the lives and future of my children and the fact that I did not understand the Polish language.
Father Roman helped me with a tonsillectomy procedure for my kids and now they are physically sound. The Camillian Fathers have always been by our side and even drove us by car to the hospital.
The question of nutrition, clothing - everything we needed was provided at home for free. Mrs. Agnes helped me a lot. Translating documents or establishing property separation with my husband – to get back on my feet.
The program financed Polish language lessons so that I learned to speak Polish very well and passed the B1 exam. We were provided with psychological assistance. In Lomianki house we organized Christmas, Easter, picnics with bonfire, summer vacations for children, and trips. All this helped not to think about what is happening in our country.
When Father Aris came to visit us, I remember how warmly he smiled at all the residents of the house. He knew what each of our names was and knew our stories. There was a very warm atmosphere in the house of the Camilian fathers, which helped me overcome many difficulties. Each resident felt very comfortable with each other and could always count on help from Mrs. Agnes and from Father Roman.
When I wanted to become independent and live away from home, the Camillian fathers and Agnes gave me the necessities to get started.
How have the Polish people's approach changed over the months compared to your first arrival in Poland?
The approach of Polish people to me as a Ukrainian and to my children has not changed and is very good and warm since my arrival in 2022. I think that the way you look at people determines their attitude towards you.
I no longer need financial support but a smile, understanding and advice - where is the office or pharmacy. They are very warm.
What can you say about your current situation in Poland?
My current situation in Poland is good. I have a temporary job and I can afford to rent an apartment. I am studying to complete the education I got in Ukraine. The Polish diploma will allow me to work permanently here.
I also owe everything I have to the Project and the Camilian Fathers. They financed the translation of my documents, which I urgently needed. I couldn't do it on my own due to lack of knowledge and financial difficulties.
Aside from the financial income, how does your work help you as a person?
I am a teacher in a kindergarten for Polish children. My work helps me a lot. I have contact with Polish parents. They help me a lot by giving me advice, they give me different ideas on how to realize myself here, how Polish law and procedures work. This lifts me up emotionally a lot.
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Can you tell us an episode or story that particularly touched you?
Right after I crossed the border in 2022, I was helped a lot by a Polish man who welcomed me and my children into his own home saying: “I ask you to feel at home, but I'm sorry I can't speak Ukrainian”. This was the first sign of a sense of security flowing over us. I replied that he didn’t need to talk to me in Ukrainian, I was the one needed to learn the Polish language, which of course I conveyed to him in non-verbal language.
I was very strongly influenced by the help of Father Roman and Mrs. Agnes. I admire these people, because they always helped me. When I was sad they talked to me, I was always listened to and understood, I got wise advice. And that helped me to have what I have now.
How do you look at your future and what is the feeling with respect to the end of the war?
I want to stay in Poland as long as possible. My daughter is going to first grade. I hope the war will end soon. Once the war is over I don't intend to go back to Ukraine. My feeling about the war is that we are very small people, we can only do this – we can help each other, support people who are around and just be people with a capital letter, this is what I learned in the home of the Camilian Fathers.
You can find the previous episode HERE.
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